5 Tips to Foster Great Communication

Good communication is the foundation of every great relationship. Listening and being listened to are signs of care and respect for your partner. When you feel cared for, you have more energy flowing through you, and sex is better.

Tantra is based on such caring and respect for your partner. Here are some good tips:

1. Make sure you have your partner’s attention without demanding that they stop what they are doing to listen to you, unless it’s an emergency. If one of you is busy when you want to talk, set up a time when you both can pay attention to each other.
2. Tune into your own truth by taking a couple of Ocean Breaths to connect with your love for them. Intend to create more understanding and harmony. Remember this is your truth and might not be “the truth” for your partner.
3. Clear your mind of judging thoughts such as, “Here she/he goes again…” or “I’m going to show her/him that I’m right “. Communication is not a tug of war. To prove that you are right does not create more harmony or passion. Quite the opposite. Understanding and connection do.
4. Really listen. We have two ears and one mouth, so listen at least twice as much as you speak. Listen attentively even if you think you ‘know’ what they are going to say. You might here a nuance that has always escaped you before, and this time that might make all the difference in how this talk goes.
5. Pay attention to your body language, especially face expression, eye movements (rolling your eyes) and tone of voice. Body language makes up about 65% of communication. When your intention is love, the body is going to be relaxed and your voice full and warm. If your intention is to ‘be right’ or ‘show them,’ it will automatically show through your body language.

If you are not used to thinking about your body and your attitude as you are speaking, all these steps might seem overwhelming. Start with one or two the next time you talk with your lover.

Afterwards, be sure that you take a moment for yourself, and think about how using these simple steps changed your experience of the encounter and its outcome. Then, try to work in more of the steps the next time. You will see the difference - and your partner will feel the difference in your attention and your energy.

The Art of Ecstatic Love and Deep Connection

Tantra is the art and science of living consciously and joyously. It teaches to fully accept and expand sexual pleasure as a gift, and to celebrate it to go deeper into love.

Most people’s perception of Tantra is limited to controlling sex so you can have it for hours and hours in strange positions. Tantra is much more than that. It includes 64 arts that support you to be the most sensitive and accomplished lover of life and of another person. It includes the art of understanding the energy flow, of communicating deeply from your feelings, the art of romance, of setting up a room that will encourage you to create a mood that takes you higher into your fullest potential of vitality and passion, and more… Read more

Losing Your Home Without Losing Your Relationship

If you check on RealtyTrac.com, you can see how many houses are in pre-foreclosure in your neighborhood. I checked my own neighborhood recently, and was shocked to see that just in the area with my zip code, there are 1,120 houses in pre-foreclosure. It’s scary.

I understand the trauma that you experience when you lose your house. You have identified with being a homeowner, and when you lose your house, you feel like you lose part of yourself. You are suffering from a shocking loss that few seem to understand. Read more

Passionate Lovemaking to Welcome the Spring

The best way I know to celebrate the coming of the Spring Season is Tantric Lovemaking.

Nature is preparing to come out of hibernation and to sprout billions of flowers and leaves. Our human heart wants to sprout, too. It wants to give life to a new, fresher, deeper love. We long to celebrate life’s infinite abundance and joyous expression with our human nature, giving spring a brighter color. Read more

How Parents Can Have a Great Sex Life

Kids bring lots of joy to a couple, but they also bring enormous work and lots of responsibilities. Parents have to structure their time around their children’s needs – feeding them, keeping them clean, teaching social skills, making sure they play with friends – just to mention a few of your endless parental duties.

You both love your kids, but somehow, with your focus on taking care of them, romance takes a back seat. Before the children, you had more time for each other. You could go out to dinner, see mutual friends, go to interesting movies and discuss them; you were motivated to be sensuous and creative, and could schedule time to make love more often. With your priority shifting to the children, this takes a toll on your intimacy together. As a couple, you can feel disconnected.

The ancient science of Conscious Love, Tantra, gives wonderful advice to parents. It is simple advice, but it requires your commitment to maintaining high passion in your relationship while you are being good parents.    Read more

Relationships That Work

Enlightened relationships fulfill all aspects of our lives. We trust each other and we feel we are on the same team so we like to help each other. There is a deep sense of belonging. We discuss important issues together. We laugh together. We love to express our sensuality freely, with enthusiasm and a sense of discovery. We feel powerful enough to be vulnerable in each other’s presence. We communicate with honesty and openness from our authentic selves. We are nurturing a seed of love that blooms into a flower that expands its essence to our surroundings. As we love, we feel a connection that goes beyond our bodies. We start sensing that we are more than our body and become conscious of the divine connection. We want to live fully and contribute to life.

In other words, life together is safe, sexy, powerful, loving, expressive and expanding beyond our bodies. Read more