The Key To Intimacy – Simpler Than You Think

Everyone wants to make relationships complicated and difficult. It’s the human way – we feel that something valuable and vital to our happiness must be hard to get.  But this does not have to be true for you.

The  secret to creating physical and emotional connection and deepening love is very natural and very simple: pay attention to your lover.

In this post, I’m going to concentrate on the men. Not because men are worse at intimacy than women. (Some men are very gifted connectors, and some women are very distant.)  The reason I’m talking to you men today is because men are usually faster than women at reaching a point in their lovemaking where they are tempted to orgasm and/or ejaculate. If you are a woman who get sexually turned on faster than your man, then consider I am writing this to you too!

So, gentlemen, listen closely! Read more

Does Size Matter?

It’s an age-old question, isn’t it? Marketers use it to sell magazines to women, and pills and pumps to men. It’s endlessly debated on talk shows, and people flood call-ins with their opinion. Do not fall for the scams and the noise!

I think penis size matters only when your self-esteem is low, when you actually don’t know how to turn your partner on with your personality, and your approach to lovemaking is rigid and fearful, instead of playful and seductive. Read more

To Fake or Not to Fake

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On the Fourth of July, I had an experience that I never had before. I stood right under fireworks that exploded right above me. While my eyes were taking in the incredible beauty of  the show I was feeling the explosions in my heart.   The explosions reminded me of a fantastic, romantic night I spent the weekend before.  I felt little bursts of pleasure in all the cells of my body…
It was awesome.  I was feeling so energized and excited that I skipped all the way home.

However, I want you to know that sometimes orgasms can be quiet and very deep.  At  other times, you know you are not able to have an orgasm at all.  Women sometimes feel that they have to fake an orgasm with high sounds  and fast breathing in order not to disappoint their lovers.  Men who might know about explosive orgasms might measure their own ability as lovers, by a woman’s ability to have explosive orgasms.

What would you do then?  You might ask yourself, “should I fake it or not?”    Read more

Relationships That Work

Enlightened relationships fulfill all aspects of our lives. We trust each other and we feel we are on the same team so we like to help each other. There is a deep sense of belonging. We discuss important issues together. We laugh together. We love to express our sensuality freely, with enthusiasm and a sense of discovery. We feel powerful enough to be vulnerable in each other’s presence. We communicate with honesty and openness from our authentic selves. We are nurturing a seed of love that blooms into a flower that expands its essence to our surroundings. As we love, we feel a connection that goes beyond our bodies. We start sensing that we are more than our body and become conscious of the divine connection. We want to live fully and contribute to life.

In other words, life together is safe, sexy, powerful, loving, expressive and expanding beyond our bodies. Read more

The Art of the Kiss

I received some email concerning kissing. People want to know what makes a good kisser. As with everything else, taste is different and everyone has his own kissing style. I can tell you, however, what most woman who study with me like, myself included.

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Most women at the beginning of foreplay love having men look into their eyes and show their attraction and longing to “take them”, yet also appreciate a man who takes time to gently kiss the woman’s lips gradually, increasing the intensity by sucking them one at the time and even both together. Most women don’t enjoy having lovers stick a tongue in their mouth without having given them a chance to wet their own lips in response to that longing . . .

Both women and men like a tongue that is not too stiff, or too loose, and a tongue that moves with confidence. It’s a real turn-on when a lover knows the art of kissing and adapts their technique to the person they are with. For instance, I don’t like the lizard-like fast flicking of the tongue, but another woman may appreciate it. You must be ready to make the change to suit your current partner.

How do you adapt? By observing and connecting with the breath of your lovers.

Often your lovers hold their breath because they don’t like something about the kiss, and they don’t know how to communicate about it. They are reticent about communicating either because they don’t know how to express it, or because they want to protect their lover’s ego. They might be in their heads figuring out what to do. However, by not communicating, they sabotage a possibly amazing sensuous relationship… and the pain of a relationship ending is most often worse than the risk you run when you communicate what you want and gently guide your lovers to give it to you, thanking them all the way for approaching what you want.

The worst kiss I ever received had his saliva was dripping out of my mouth like it would from a dog salivating. Having to wipe myself off was a huge turn off.

The best kiss I ever had lasted a long time, and my lover and I were alternating looking in each other’s eyes and seeing the hot facial expression of our lover, and closing our eyes to integrate that passion.

What is your favorite way of kissing?