Does Size Matter?

It’s an age-old question, isn’t it? Marketers use it to sell magazines to women, and pills and pumps to men. It’s endlessly debated on talk shows, and people flood call-ins with their opinion. Do not fall for the scams and the noise!

I think penis size matters only when your self-esteem is low, when you actually don’t know how to turn your partner on with your personality, and your approach to lovemaking is rigid and fearful, instead of playful and seductive. Read more

Effortless Orgasms Are Possible

I recently started working with a great looking woman who first came in my door so stressed that she could not sit still without constantly re-arranging her body. That first day, her eyes were speedily moving around in hypervigilance. She could not finish one sentence in the rush to get to the next.

What she said came from a rehearsed circular thinking in her head. She did not allow herself time to feel. She told me she hated herself and especially her body. She grew up with a self-righteous alcoholic father and a Catholic mother who did NOT allow herself or her children to feel feelings, especially those of pleasure.

She complained that she had a dark secret: she was 49 years old and she had never had an orgasm! All her friends were telling her of their great lovemaking, ending in earthshaking orgasms. . . Whether they were telling her the truth or not, she believed them and guessed there was something wrong with her.

Talking to Jane did not seem the best approach, because her rigid belief that there was something wrong with her would just filter out my words. I had to try something more direct. Read more

To Fake or Not to Fake

On the Fourth of July, I had an experience that I never had before. I stood right under fireworks that exploded right above me. While my eyes were taking in the incredible beauty of  the show I was feeling the explosions in my heart.   The explosions reminded me of a fantastic, romantic night I spent the weekend before.  I felt little bursts of pleasure in all the cells of my body…
It was awesome.  I was feeling so energized and excited that I skipped all the way home.

However, I want you to know that sometimes orgasms can be quiet and very deep.  At  other times, you know you are not able to have an orgasm at all.  Women sometimes feel that they have to fake an orgasm with high sounds  and fast breathing in order not to disappoint their lovers.  Men who might know about explosive orgasms might measure their own ability as lovers, by a woman’s ability to have explosive orgasms.

What would you do then?  You might ask yourself, “should I fake it or not?”    Read more